Well, after my last post, I received a lovely, heartfelt note from an M.D.Yep, the compassion expressed by him was just so moving. He said he enjoyed my blog and could see that I am "a person of substance," but he was compelled to reach out to me in my quest to look more youthful. Oh my, he went above and beyond by providing me with his website address and he mentioned I could even have a skype consultation. Naturally, being the empathic individual that he clearly must be, he warned me about about procedures that may create an "unnatural" appearance. However, I think he must have forgotten to offer me any free services, being so caught up in his generous concern over my well-being.
HELLLLLLLOOOOOOO, Dr. Makeover, did you even READ my blog??? Do I sound like a person who is mired in worry over my aged face and body? The post was supposed to be FUNNY, ha, ha, you know, give my friends and family a chuckle! Heaven knows, there are many serious issues that need pondering on my treks through the woods. Like the other day, when I was 
walking on a trail that is now only about ten inches wide, with weeds on either side that are taller than my knees. I was gingerly stepping, hoping a rattler wasn't lurking in the thick foliage, when I suddenly visualized an angry badger lunging form the brush and latching onto my leg. Yes, I KNOW we don't have badgers here in southern California, but don't you see, that's why this badger was so enraged. Poor fella, here it is springtime, the season of love and lust, and all he sees is a field full of fluffy bunnies and hyped up ground squirrels that never pipe down. Doesn't quite cut the mustard. Well, back to my injured leg. At this point, I couldn't walk, but naturally, I screamed for Cayenne, who immediately rushed to my rescue. Even though I had been savagely attacked, I still tried to prevent Cayenne from maiming the badger, because I understood that I was simply in the wrong place at wrong time. He had no malice toward me personally. But, Cayenne ignored my pleas and grabbed that badger by the back of the neck, gave it a couple of quick shakes, and left it in a lifeless lump just out of my reach. Now that we were safe from further harm, as long as rattlesnakes, red biting ants, and rabid coyotes stayed their distance, I had to figure out the next step. Actually, I couldn't step because of my leg injury so I grabbed a indelible pen and some colorful ribbon and wrote, "Need help, injured on Autumn Trail." You may be wondering about the pen and ribbon. No, I don't actually carry it with me, but I am thinking of taking a backpack along with those types of provisions as well as a large can of bear spray, a machete, and some food and water, of course. It just makes sense out here in the wilderness. Once the message was written, in between writihing, moaning, and groaning as I checked my leg wounds, I tied it the ribbon on Cayenne's collar and said, "Go, Lassie" Her quizzical look and lack of action indicated I was becoming delusional, perhaps from blood loss. So, I tried to focus. Oh, yeah, right, I mean, "Go, Cayenne!" "Go fetch Warren!" "Or, Steve and Rosalee, if that's closer, just go!"
walking on a trail that is now only about ten inches wide, with weeds on either side that are taller than my knees. I was gingerly stepping, hoping a rattler wasn't lurking in the thick foliage, when I suddenly visualized an angry badger lunging form the brush and latching onto my leg. Yes, I KNOW we don't have badgers here in southern California, but don't you see, that's why this badger was so enraged. Poor fella, here it is springtime, the season of love and lust, and all he sees is a field full of fluffy bunnies and hyped up ground squirrels that never pipe down. Doesn't quite cut the mustard. Well, back to my injured leg. At this point, I couldn't walk, but naturally, I screamed for Cayenne, who immediately rushed to my rescue. Even though I had been savagely attacked, I still tried to prevent Cayenne from maiming the badger, because I understood that I was simply in the wrong place at wrong time. He had no malice toward me personally. But, Cayenne ignored my pleas and grabbed that badger by the back of the neck, gave it a couple of quick shakes, and left it in a lifeless lump just out of my reach. Now that we were safe from further harm, as long as rattlesnakes, red biting ants, and rabid coyotes stayed their distance, I had to figure out the next step. Actually, I couldn't step because of my leg injury so I grabbed a indelible pen and some colorful ribbon and wrote, "Need help, injured on Autumn Trail." You may be wondering about the pen and ribbon. No, I don't actually carry it with me, but I am thinking of taking a backpack along with those types of provisions as well as a large can of bear spray, a machete, and some food and water, of course. It just makes sense out here in the wilderness. Once the message was written, in between writihing, moaning, and groaning as I checked my leg wounds, I tied it the ribbon on Cayenne's collar and said, "Go, Lassie" Her quizzical look and lack of action indicated I was becoming delusional, perhaps from blood loss. So, I tried to focus. Oh, yeah, right, I mean, "Go, Cayenne!" "Go fetch Warren!" "Or, Steve and Rosalee, if that's closer, just go!" I must have come to the end of my walk because that is as far as that mind meandering took me on that day. All of that to say, "Wake up, Dr. Makeover!" Life is full of perils and challenges that require extreme vigilance and think on your feet kind of action, with no time left over for superficial musings over image enhancement. Get real!
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